


Through the Roses

by Davys_dead



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, angsty, but still cute, canon compliant character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:24:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davys_dead/pseuds/Davys_dead
Summary: Baz’s mum is dead. But he’ll always have his memories.





	Through the Roses

**Author's Note:**

> The song the fic is titled after: 
> 
> Don't watch me weeping  
> Don't watch me weep into my palms  
> Don't watch me leaving, I'll be gone
> 
> Kiss me mother, Kiss me father  
> Fore I go  
> Don't want to leave you  
> But I'm sorry... I can't hold
> 
> And you see me, through the roses  
> Through the lights and the smoke and the screen  
> I'm no one better  
> I'm no better than you and I'm scared  
> Just searching for truth

Simon was wrong when he said I couldn’t see myself in pictures. I can. And I think I might hate it.

  My father has a drawer in his desk he thinks I don’t know about, and it’s full of pictures of my mother. I love those ones. But it’s the ones with me in them that kill me.

  There’s one with me and my mother sowing seeds in the little garden we used to keep at Watford. I don’t know what we’re planting, but there were already roses blooming for the Summer. And I can smell them, I can smell how she smelled. Like dirt and sweat and my mother and it hurts because that’s all I can remember. I can’t remember why she’s laughing or who took the picture. I can’t remember what day it was. And it hurts, right in the center of my chest.

  When Simon walks in I’m not expecting him, and I don’t think he expected to see me bawling like a maniac on his bedroom floor.

  “Baz!” he comes to me and gathers me in his arms. When he asks me what’s wrong all I do is show him the picture. I wasn’t expecting my father to send me this in the post and I don’t think he knew I knew that it existed but it means he wanted me to know. He wanted me to remember. And that just makes me cry harder.


End file.
